What if love just smack right in your face in a different way? Leaving you breathless, clueless and yet confusing you once again, I once know how it felt like loving someone, but what is this that left me nowhere,

I was once again back on track to my goals, to the point I marked on my map, it took me a while to get back on track after a pieces of  the map, of the road gone missing. But nothing can stop a planner, nothing can stop me once I set a goal. Because that goal is not just for the best of me, but for us and you just left. You just don't know how long I've been standing there on the road not moving an inch right after you left me. But I remember the one and only reason why I set that goal.

Is not just because of me, But because of you. That is what kept me moving until now and I would say even if one day I reach that destination with or without you, I will never stop. I will always keep moving forward, planning ahead of time into the future. But not to prove to you that you lost someone. But to prove to me that I am someone, that I matters, that I can make a differences.

And the sooner I knew, I was back on track. A missing pieces of a map ain't gonna stop me, even if the whole map is gone. My goal is not and I can always draw a whole map to my goals and maybe even in a shorter route. We grow and we never stop learning, we never really felt it but we are evolving each and every second and until the evolution is complete, we will never know.

But evolving also means leaving things behind, and I felt like I left something important behind while moving on, while evolving. I left a part of humanity, a part of my emotions, From time to time I compare to the old and un-evolved me. It feels like I can control my feelings better as what I meant is I don't cry that easily anymore, and even if I do I can stop right away. I tend to says things I don't meant to say where I know it will hurt someone but I said it anyway. 

An animal? Am I evolving? Or am I not. I felt like my heart it turning cold ever since an event happen. And I don't think I have to tell you again what "event".But let's skip to the main point of all these useless information and store it back into the files.

My hands is shivering again, my body is trembling, this feeling, it felt so familiar yet i just can't remember what it means, what it is. It's making my molecular cell moving at a very fast speed and yet it's not killing me;yet. Alright maybe I'm exaggerating but you know what I mean.

And yet, these Unplanned events, these unplanned feelings is it coming back to destroy me? Or to create and give me an entirely new life?

<To Be Continued>