I Shouldn't Be Here

Shadows

I have been telling myself,

That these feelings are new,

But they aren't,

I just didn't connect them before.

I felt it the first time,

I can't recall when,

But my mind and my heart's telling me,

That this time, It's worse.

At first things were fun,

But then everything broke,

It felt like my chest caved in.

And i couldn't tell the difference,

Between the bass in the music,

And a car alarm going off outside.

I couldn't get my mind to stop racing,

I felt like i had no control over my body,

Like my arms and legs were twitching.

I thought i was going to have to go to the hospital,

I thought i was going to die.

All of a sudden the ground felt soft,

And the sounds around me,

Were too fast and too slow,

At the same time.

I thought i would lose control,

Do something crazy, 

Start screaming,

Right in the middle of the street.

Now this feelings follows me,

Everywhere i go.

It clings to me,

Makes my skin crawl,

Makes my skin burn,

When i walk across the street,

When i talk to my friends.

It sits with me in class,

Whispers in my ear,

Telling me that i shouldn't be here.